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4. Lack of empathy

Faking empathy…

Having a lack of empathy is one of the defining characteristics of a narcissist.

It may appear that the narcissist does empathize with others at times but they do not genuinely care.

Their mocked empathy is used as a tool or manipulation to gather information or get what they want from you.

Mirroring back your emotions is another way the narcissist may fake having empathy.

They use false empathy to exploit you…

When they display empathy towards you, you may find that it feels so easy and safe to open up to them about your vulnerabilities.

But their empathy is false and is only a manipulation tactic to gain trust from you.

You will find that the information they have learnt about you and your vulnerabilities will later be used against you.

Either to exploit or to punish and hurt you later in the relationship.

They will especially use fake empathy in the love bombing phase to gain your trust.

Then once the connection is made, they can turn off their empathy just like a tap.

Taking but never giving…

Narcissists truly don’t care about other people’s feelings.

But they expect everyone else to have empathy and always be attentive towards their sensitive needs and emotions.

You will never get your needs met when being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Although it can be confusing in the beginning when you experience the love bombing phase.

It is an extremely one-sided relationship when dealing with them.

A narc’s sense of entitlement is also portrayed in their lack of empathy towards others.

Image by Anete Lusina

They just don’t care…

Narcissists don’t have the capacity to self-reflect.

This makes it extremely difficult for them to care about the affects their actions have on others.

Although I believe they do have the capacity to empathize with others, they choose not to.

Their selfish agendas and needs are often more important to them at that time, and each and every time.

It blows my mind that they can deliberately hurt others and sweep their actions under the carpet.

To be in complete denial and act is if your emotions are just an inconvenience to them.

And if their actions didn’t hurt you enough, they will crush you more by turning the story and blaming it on you.

But when somebody does that same action to them, they are enraged telling the whole world how hurt and angry they are.

Whilst expecting everyone’s sympathy and seeking revenge.

Just remember, a narcissist may appear to empathize with you when they want something from you.

But they are also willing to discard you the very next minute if they begin to see you as an inconvenience.

Please, if you can help it; don’t waste your time and energy engaging in these hurtful relationships.

5. Exploiting others

They want what you have…

Narcissists will take advantage of every situation.

And will find any opportunity to exploit others for their own personal gain.

They are the perfect con artist and often seek out friendly empathic people to exploit.

Narcissists see empaths as naïve and trusting in nature which makes them easier to manipulate.

In life; the saying goes, that we attract other likeminded individuals like ourselves.

But in truth with the narcissist, we also attract individuals that want what we have.

The narcissist will not only take material, financial, emotional or status gains from others;

but they will also take credit for other people’s efforts and achievements.

Tactics they might use…

They will push emotional boundaries often using guilt as a way of exploiting their victims.

Narcissists are very cunning with their manipulation tactics.

And will make it seem like any of their suggestions are only for your benefit.

But they are really only to serve their own agenda.

For example; the narcissistic partner may not want you to work by saying that they want to be the provider and you don’t have to work.

That they want you to have time to do the things you love because they love you that much and want you to be happy.

When in reality, they just want you to depend on them financially so they can use it to control you.

Narcissists often manipulate people into trusting them before they take the opportunity to exploit.

They will idealize you, mirror back your dreams and goals, future fake and offer empty promises.

And these tactics will get you sucked into a fantasy of the future possibilities with the narcissist.

They are just using you…

Doing the bare minimum in any situation to be able to take all they can is a narcissists agenda when exploiting others.

By them using manipulation and gaslighting tactics, we don’t tend to see through what they are actually doing to us.

Thus it can be difficult to avoid being manipulated and used.

We must arm ourselves with as much knowledge as we can of their somewhat predictable behaviours.

Once you are aware of the knowledge, you will know the red flags to look out for and you will begin to see the patterns in their behaviors.

The best defense is to be aware of their games, know your worth,

create healthy boundaries and keep your distance from these greedy and nasty personalities.

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Awareness is power.