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Love bombing

Narcissists love pretending to be everything we’ve always wanted;

this is often why we begin a relationship with them in the first place.

Their love bombing makes us feel wanted, understood, loved and cared for. And the narcissist knows this.

They likely think that if it worked for them at the beginning of the relationship,

it may work for them again.

But we are often not aware that it is only a manipulation tactic.

They do not genuinely love us.

Otherwise they would never have continuously hurt us to the point that we have to walk away.

Romantic relationships

If you have been in a romantic relationship with the narcissist, they may say things such as,

“I realize I still love you, it’s always been you, I miss you,

I need you back in my life, I don’t feel complete without you, I realized that you are the one”

or “you are my soulmate”.

Image by Michelle Leman

I have heard these many times in my most toxic relationship that was the hardest to escape from.

The first few times I ended the relationship,

he would always come back to manipulate me with romantic gestures, gifts and fake apologies.

Things like roses, diamond jewelry, surprise candlelit bubble baths with wine, or romantic dinner outings.

I had never been treated this way before, and so, I fell for it.

Thinking that it felt so good to be loved and spoiled in this way,

and not realizing that there was only malicious intent and control behind it. 

Declaring their love for you are only empty words used to pull at your heart strings.

Just so they can control your emotions like a puppet.

They will attempt anything to make you feel a sense of self-worth in those moments.

But once they hoover you back in,

things only go back to the way they were and will likely get worse.

Image by RODNAE Productions

Because they often feel the need to punish you for trying to leave and rejecting them in the first place.

Other relationships

If the narcissist is a family member, a work associate or a friend,

they may give you lots of compliments, kind gestures, offers, or promises to help you somehow.

Sadly, these acts will be used against you later when the narcissist wants something back in return,

whether it’s your endless adoration, you having to be agreeable with them at all times,

connections to your associates or because being associated with you will raise their status somehow.

Love bombing doesn’t only happen in romantic relationships,

and it can be for so many reasons depending on what the narcissist believes you have that they want.

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Awareness is power.