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What to do with narcissistic projection

When the narcissist is attacking and blaming us for things, we know we are not guilty of,

we must not take it personally; it has nothing to do with us or what we have done.

It has everything to do with the guilt and shame they are internally denying to themselves.

Image by Mikhail Nilov

A narcissist’s projection can give us insight to what the narcissist may actually be feeling, thinking, or doing.

They may be projecting experiences from their past, present or it could be something they are planning to do.

When they accuse you of something you know is not true,

listen carefully to what they are saying and see it as a confession from the narcissist rather than a personal attack.

When we see their actions in the light of truth, it can be healing.

And the narcissist’s attacks may no longer have such a strong negative affect on us.

Do not waste your energy defending yourself, or reasoning and arguing with the narcissist.

It is often a waste of time.

They will never admit their faults, mistakes, inferiority or anything that makes them appear flawed.

Anything that you say to the narcissist will again be projected onto you,

Image by Ketut Subiyanto

which can leave you feeling more hurt and frustrated in the end.

The narcissist will use your words against you, and accuse you for the very things you say to them.

You will ultimately become a continuous target for their projection.

The calmer we remain during their attacks,

the more others are likely to see the real truth to the narcissist’s behavior.

By removing our emotions and our reactions to the situation,

it stops us giving supply to the narcissist.

And this is often when the narcissist may unintentionally show their true colors to others,

or they may remove themselves from your personal space and seek out supply elsewhere.

You can speak your truth to others, but don’t waste your energy speaking truth the narcissist.

The best way to deal with the narcissists in your life, is to go no contact if possible.

You will never be genuinely respected, validated or cared for by a narcissist.

Our reactions

The narcissist’s projection is all tied in with gaslighting, manipulation and blame shifting.

It is truly crazy making behavior just so the narcissist doesn’t have to take responsibility.

Their projection cannot take full effect if we see the truth in this manipulation tactic, and do not react.

It is our reaction that the narcissist uses against us to be able to project blame and accountability onto us.

If you react with emotional disbelief and anger, they will use it against you.

Possibly saying that you are crazy and out of control,

which can make you appear guilty for any of the narcissist’s accusations.

Image by Liza Summer

Or the narcissist may use our reactions for deflection as an excuse for their behavior,

once again, avoiding accountability and placing the blame onto us.

If we can learn to not react with our emotions involved,

it can minimize the negative effects that projection can ultimately have on us.

But first we must see projection in it’s true light for what it is.

And once we see the truth, it is much easier to not take projection personally.

It also makes it easier to choose and accept our own reality,

giving us the strength to stand in our own truth.

Grey rocking can be a useful and effective method to use against the narcissist’s projection.

It cuts off the supply the narcissist is seeking by minimizing interaction,

it removes any emotions involved and it stops us reacting in the way the narcissist expects us to react.

They secretly love watching us feel uncomfortable whilst getting angry and emotional.

Image by Andrea Piacquadio

Our reactions feed their ego.

It makes them feel in control.

And they are looking out for something in our reactions that they can use against us,

anything that appears to support their projections.

But of course, the best method to deal with a narcissist is to go complete no contact if possible.

You will never be able to avoid the narcissist’s projection if they are in your life.

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Awareness is power.