Trusting ourselves
When we are unaware of the narcissist’s projective behavior,
it is easy to doubt ourselves and question our own reality.
We must learn to see through the narcissist’s projection, and trust our reality.
Stand firm in your truth.
You will not be able to make the narcissist see or believe your views.
So, it is best to just walk away and not give any more emotion or energy into the situation.
The narcissist’s false narrative does not deserve your attention.
Because their projection is done to make you feel insecure about yourself,
just so they can feel better about themselves and watch you bend over backwards to try harder to please them or prove yourself.
When we doubt ourselves through their projection,
the narcissist sees it as confirmation that they are perfectly right.
Because they are not at all doubting their delusional belief of perfection.
If we appear unsure, then we are the only ones who seem to have room for error.
And the wrong doing is easily placed and projected onto us.
When we feel unsure, we tend to accept the accountability of possibly being wrong,
even though we are not at fault in the situation at all.
We think we are being the bigger person in the situation,
when all we are really doing is taking responsibility for the narcissist’s behavior and becoming an enabler.
A common projection is, the narcissist will accuse you of not being caring just because they didn’t get their own way with you.
They may bring up things that they’ve done for you in attempts to make you feel guilty.
You may then feel ashamed and begin to question yourself, if you are being unreasonable.
The narcissist incites the feeling of obligation in us and we can often give in and give them what they want.
Many of us have been in these situations.
We tend to be people pleasers.
And often give into the manipulation just so we can validate to our conscious that we are doing the right thing in that moment.
Especially if there is the fear of consequences when the narcissist does not get what they want .
When in fact the truth is you were always 1000 times more caring than the narcissist,
and it is the narcissist who is not caring at all but rather heartless, manipulative and self-absorbed.
And have no conscious of their own.
Every good deed done by a narcissist is not because they care,
it is so they can use it against you when you don’t comply with their demands.
We must allow the narcissist to believe their own narrative,
and accept that they will always be living in their own warped and self-absorbed reality.
Honest, selfless and empathic people are often taken advantage of by narcissists.
Know that you are not the problem that the narcissist tells you that you are.
Trust that you deserve to be treated better and not be manipulated.
Believe that there are other honest, selfless and empathic people out there
that are willing to reciprocate your kindness and not want to exploit it.
You deserve to surround yourself with people that support your genuine reality,
people that are honest with themselves because they value the truth of everyone and everything around them.
We are not emotional punching bags for the narcissist to project their dark shadow self onto.
Don’t waste time convincing the narcissist or others of the truth
There is no point trying to convince the narcissist of the truth.
Their ego will never allow the truth to permeate their false delusion of perfection.
And they will have likely convinced everyone around them that what they are projecting is the truth.
Do not waste your efforts convincing these flying monkeys that the narcissist is telling lies.
They will not be ready or willing to hear your truth if they have already believed the narcissist’s warped reality.
Some others that may have heard the narcissist’s version of the situation may not want to get involved,
and so will not want to hear your side of the story.
Only confide and express your truth to your trusted friends and family members.
But I feel it is important to tell someone that believes your truth.
Because having someone who validates your reality is truly healing and powerful.
It can be a savior to your phycological and emotional wellbeing.
In the end, others may come to see the real truth.
But ultimately, we have no control of the narcissist’s actions and what others choose to believe.
Letting go of the need to convince others,
and not caring what other people think is a way of taking some of our power back in the situation.
We can lose our power by trying to convince others because it can appear that we are the ones who have an agenda.
In some cases, if we do no nothing, the narcissist may create their own downfall and expose themselves.
They will be the ones who appear to have the agenda,
because they are the only ones running around trying to convince others of their lies.
Anybody who wants to believe the narcissist’s lies,
get involved in something that has nothing to do with them or attack you because of a rumor,
is definitely not worth your respect or your time.
Karma works in mysterious ways, and what happened to you, will likely happen to the flying monkeys.
