A grown-up adult tantrum
Because narcissists cannot regulate their emotions, they often express themselves through uncontrolled anger.
A narcissistic rage is pretty much the result of the narcissist having an adult tantrum,
they have the emotional intelligence of a toddler that lacks emotional control.
Most often, the unpredictable tantrum is seen to be hugely disproportionate to the situation involved.
And it can be trivial things that set the narcissist off into a ferocious and explosive rage.
When the narcissist is having a tantrum, it can look absurd, frightening, shocking or even humorous to the people witnessing it.
After the narcissist has expressed their rage, they may often appear calm as they can feel better after having released their suppressed emotions.
The narcissist now feels better about themselves at the expense of abusing and blaming their victim.
Narcissists will have a tantrum over anything that threatens their ego.
Just seeing an individual live with joy and gratitude will anger the narcissist.
They will hate and resent anyone who does not need outside validation like they do.
And will seek to destroy that joy others are experiencing.
Other people’s peace and confidence becomes a threat to the narcissist’s ego,
but they will not show this in public and will often unload their insecurities by abusing their targeted victim behind passive aggression.
Or taking out their tantrum on the people closest to them behind closed doors,
because they seek to maintain a false image of kindness, charm and perfection to the rest of society.
Verbal abuse
During a raging episode the narcissist will often yell, scream and verbally attack their victims.
They will hurl insults and say anything to intentionally hurt the victim’s emotions and attack their deepest insecurities.
We can regularly discard the verbal abuse, because we may want to believe it is not as harmful as physical abuse.
But verbal abuse is still abuse, and it can cause tremendous damage to your self-esteem and self-worth.
It can also cause you to live in fear and constant anxiety.
It has the potential to destroy your emotional and psychological health for years and decades.
And in most cases, it can be more damaging than some physical abuse.
Most things that the narcissist says during verbal abuse are things that they have previously thought when they were not angry.
And when they do angrily verbalize their true and once hidden thoughts,
it comes from the same hateful place in their hearts, as if they were to physically abuse you.
Words can be powerful, whether it is used to heal or to harm.
Harmful and berating words is abuse, it is verbal assault.
Verbal abuse can be the beginning of a toxic abuse cycle that will likely escalate into physical abuse later in the relationship.
We must see it as a red flag and a warning, that we should leave the relationship early on.
The narcissist can also say things to the victims that the narcissist actually feels about themselves.
Their victims become their emotional punching bags, who gets all of the narcissist’s traumas and insecurities dumped on them.
And if they are accusing you of behaviors that you know you are not guilty of, it is likely because they are guilty of it.
Narcissists do not like to get caught out on their lies, they do not want to feel shame and guilt or have to be responsible.
And most often will project and blame their actions onto the victims through verbal abuse,
in an attempt to avoid accountability.
