Narcissistic rage in different relationships
We can come across the rage of a narcissist in many relationships in our life.
Not just with our narcissistic partner.
Our parents could be narcissists, where their rage has taught us to live on the defense, to avoid conflict,
to become people pleasers or we may feel the need to fix broken people.
When our primary caregivers are narcissists,
most often we can find ourselves attracting narcissistic partners into our life.
And using the survival skills we have learned when dealing with our toxic caregivers,
in our romantic relationships with our narcissistic partners also.
Dealing with narcissistic rage can then become accepted as a normal part of life.
Narcissistic rage can also be experienced in the workplace.
Most often they are the people in manager positions that tend to verbally abuse their staff when things don’t go their way.
But it could additionally be your workmate,
just another employee that knows how to manipulate and threaten the company to get the positions they want.
Or to get away with doing minimal work and being deceitful without getting caught out or fired.
They enjoy triangulating others in the workplace, constantly spreading rumors and gossip.
And turning people against each other if they feel they are a threat to their false self.
When narcissistic bosses and colleagues make mistakes in the workplace,
they will place the blame onto an innocent colleague who ultimately takes the consequences for the narcissist’s actions.
You may also witness narcissistic rage with a narcissist in your social circle.
They are the individuals who like to feel that they are the leader of the friendship group.
And easily get offended into a rage when the attention is not on them at all times,
or when their peers do not go along with or agree with what they are saying.
Narcissists will likely not change their ways
Narcissistic rage is an unacceptable behavior in any relationship.
Many victims of narcissistic rage become enablers to the behavior.
To avoid conflict, to keep the peace and to stop the situation from getting more difficult to deal with.
We can tend to just accept the narcissist as they are, with their abusive and unreasonable behaviors.
Often justifying the narcissist’s actions and making excuses for their behaviors.
With the narcissist getting no consequences for their rage,
never changing their behaviors and ultimately becoming more difficult overtime.
They are simply grown adults having a tantrum when they don’t get what they want.
And everybody involved may experience stress and anxiety;
along with other emotional, mental and physical health complications caused by the stress.
The narcissists see how their rage affects other people.
And this in turn makes them feel powerful and superior.
They enjoy seeing other people get hurt and they have no empathy to care for the destruction they cause.
They love the control they get when others fear them.
This gives them no reason to want to change their behavior.
It is easier for the narc to take their emotions out on other people.
Because they get what they want, they never have to take accountability,
and they feel powerful thus feeling relief from their suppressed emotions.
They may see that people pull away from them because of this behavior,
this is often when the narcissist rationalizes and make excuses for their behavior.
So, they can be forgiven and remain in the relationship with others.
Narcissists will never apologize for their rage, and will always blame it on circumstances or other people.
And they will expect everyone to agree with their justifications and to accept their lies and excuses.
If they do say sorry, they do not mean it.
The false apology is often only used as a manipulation tool to keep you in the relationship with them.
I have only ever seen narcissists use false apologies as a last resort when their excuses don’t work.
But when we forgive the narcissist, they see our forgiveness as a weakness.
And they think we are giving them permission for them to continue their abusive ways.
