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Control is also supply…

Feeling in control also gives the narcissist supply.

It makes them feel powerful and validates their false superiority.

Narcissists can control us through manipulating our emotions.

They are masters at knowing the right words to say to provoke us to feel different kinds of emotions such as sympathy, guilt, fear, love or anger.

When they see that we are affected by the words they speak, or their acts of manipulation, it makes them feel in control.

If the narcissist cannot control others, that is when they feel out of control within themselves.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Notice that when you give them no emotional reaction or responses to their manipulative efforts, they may act like a 2-year-old having a huge adult tantrum, become passive aggressive,

or even rage with aggression and become vindictive or violent.

They lose control of their own emotions, when we begin to control ours around them.

We can take back our power and take power away from the narcissist,

when we learn to strengthen our minds and don’t allow the narcissist to provoke our emotions.

This is why grey rocking a narcissist can help us keep our peace and our power, because it creates an invisible boundary, and limits their intake of supply for them to use against us.

Photo by Liza Summer

When you are ready to set your boundaries and take back your power,

then also be ready for the narcissist to smear your name and blame you for unexpected things.

Often, the only thing we can do when this happens, is to ignore them.

Why they need supply…

The reason the narcissist needs constant supply is because they cannot regulate themselves and they’re emotions.

So, they use people and things in the outside world to help prop them up.

If others validate them and their false ego, then they can feel validated.

Narcissistic supply is like oxygen to the narcissist, they cannot live without it.

Deep down, they don’t know who they are, they don’t like themselves and they prefer to occupy their time validating their false self,

instead of doing the inner work to heal, accept their mistakes and discover who they really are.

They don’t want to face all the things that make them feel shame or guilt,

Image by SHVETS production

and so they would rather deny everything and project them onto others by falsely blaming others.

Narcissists want the constant supply to validate their false self, so they can keep running from their real self.

Notice, that most narcissistic individuals do not like to be alone, because being alone means having to deal with your real self, your fears, your shame and your thoughts.

It would appear that most will do anything to escape having to be alone,

even if it means overstepping many boundaries or forcing someone to stay with them through coercion.

Relationships with the narcissist is a lot of work, it’s one sided and purely transactional.

They are only willing to be your friend, or may appear to care about you only because they want dome sort of supply from you.

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Awareness is power.