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We are all just supply to the narcissist

Narcissists do not see us as individuals who have needs and deserve our love, kindness, efforts or respect to be reciprocated.

To them, people are used as supply or a tool to get them more supply.

If they cannot get supply from you, they will quickly move onto someone else who will give them what they want.

They will seek any form of attention and they especially love anything that gives them a sense of superiority over others.

It is not only those of us who lack confidence in who we are or do not have an understanding of our own self-worth who attract narcissistic relationships.

Those who are confident and successful whom are not aware that narcissists exist and what they’re about can also be targets.

The narc can tend to see strong willed people as a challenge.

Photo by Joshua Mcknight

They want to exploit their success and boost their ego by taking down someone who they perceive as confident, powerful and winning in life.

Someone they deem as a major threat to their ego and false superiority.

But it is most often the empaths who put other people’s needs before their own, that makes for easy prey.

No matter how insecure, successful or confident they are.

Empaths are always giving narcissists the benefit of the doubt, making excuses for their poor behaviors,

giving sympathy to their victimhood stories, and always trying to be the bigger person in conflicts.

They also have a high sense of guilt which the narc uses against the empath to get what they want.

The narc sees the empath’s honesty and kindness as a weakness, and their gullible and naïve ways as a great source of supply.

The empath’s natural caring personality,

somehow allows the narcissist to exploit and continue their psychological and emotional abuse without being detected.

Photo by RODNAE Productions

And by the time we are aware, we are often so broken on the inside,

it can leave us weak, confused, trauma bonded and in fear, making it harder for us to leave their web of torture.

Too much is never enough

The narcissist will never have enough supply in any relationship.

It is like trying to keep a bucket full of water, when the bucket has hole in it.

And most will often have other secret relationships and or addictions.

They can also use drugs, alcohol, sex or material things as supply in an attempt to fill the emptiness they feel.

Whatever is used as a way to validate their false ego, becomes their supply.

It can seem that they are completely delusional when ignoring the truth of what is actually happening around them,

because they are so focused on always securing supply.

Narcissists believe that you should know when they want attention, the type of attention they seek and they expect it in the way they want it.

Unless you are a mind reader, you will never be able to give a narcissist the type of supply that is expected of you from the narcissist at any given time.

Image by Ketut Subiyanto

It is emotionally, spiritually and mentally exhausting to engage in these one-sided relationships.

And sometimes, it is only those closest enough to become their victims,

who will truly see how needy, greedy, heartless and cruel the narcissist can be in their attempt to constantly validate their false image.

Their kindness is a transaction for supply

Sometimes it can appear that the narcissist is being generous and genuine.

But their efforts are never made from a place of love,

it is seen as a transaction and they will always expect a return on investment for any of their efforts made.

They will expect something in return for every act of kindness given.

Nothing is done out of the kindness of their heart.

And it truly is a forced effort for them to ‘act kind’.

They don’t want to be kind, but they will force themselves to do it if they know there is pay off at the end of it.

It is only done to keep up their false image to the outside world or to be used against you as a contract of your compliance.

They want you to feel a sense of obligation, to feel like ‘you owe them’.

Because the narcissist honestly does believe, that ‘you owe them’.

They may not say it outright, but their actions will definitely imply it.

Image by Budgeron Bach

This is why they will always bring up the little number of things they have done for you,

in an attempt to make you feel guilt and shame so that you end up giving them what they want.

You do not have to feel the need to be kind back to the narcissist by giving them what they want.

Trust your gut instinct, if something feels wrong about their acts of kindness,

it is usually because there is deceit or hidden agendas behind their actions.

Don’t fall for the manipulation.

Their only intent is to lead you down a path that will make you feel like you owe them something.

And this strong feeling they are trying to instill in you, will then be deliberately used against you.

Somehow, by being kind to the narcissist and allowing them to be kind to us, only enables them.

They want us to be kind to them because they get to avoid accountability no matter what they do.

And they only want to be kind to us when they are wanting something.

It is truly difficult to fathom that kindness can be such a toxic thing when we are dealing with a narcissist.

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Awareness is power.