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We deserve more from relationships…

As the narcissist seeks attention and admiration from others for validation, we too can have a tendency to seek validation from the narcissist.

This applies to most of us that never had the love and attention we deserved as children from our primary caregivers.

We must love ourselves enough to feel better on our own, rather than accepting to engage in narcissistic relationships.

We also need to accept that we are just supply to the narcissist.

And when we stay engaged in these relationships, we are only enabling and validating the narc’s false image, whilst getting ourselves used and abused at the same time.

We all deserve to be in genuine and kind, honest relationships.

Our authenticity and the respect we give in our relationships deserve to be reciprocated back to us.

Image by Keira Burton

If you feel you are in a one-sided toxic relationship, it is time to consider that maybe you deserve and can have more healing and loving relationships.

But always remember that the narcissist will never be able to give you the love you deserve, even if they promise it.

They are pathological liars and will say whatever it takes to keep you in a relationship with them,

while they never intended on keeping their words.  

Sometimes being alone, building a relationship with yourself and respecting your own needs,

make for a much more peaceful and productive life than to stay with a narcissist.

Healthy emotional people need to be on their own sometimes to heal.

The narcissist does not want to heal, they do not want to be on their own to deal with their thoughts,

and that is a reason they will do whatever it takes to hoover people back into their life.

Image by vjapratama

They don’t come back because they love you, they come back saying all the right things to manipulate you, so they can continue to use you as supply.

You deserve better than to be exploited, abused and lied to, simply to be used as supply for someone else’s sensitive and insecure fragile ego.

All our interactions with them is supply

When we first meet a narcissist, they can appear so friendly and nice.

They will go out of their way to make you like them, and want to hear all about you and your life.

But it’s not because they care about who you really are.

It’s because they love to be admired by strangers and want people to side with them immediately so they can use them for instant supply.

We have all been fooled by the fake niceness of a narcissist.

Image by Ketut Subiyanto

It is part of the initial love bombing phase they use within every type of relationship.

Once we get to know them, it becomes obvious that they are the complete opposite of who they portray themselves to be with strangers.

And when we see through their fake niceness, their acts no longer work to manipulate us into thinking they are genuine.

This is when you may see them change and use a more whining or bullying tactic to gain supply from you.

It is sad that the narcissist cannot see that when they behave this way, they are actually pushing people away.

When deep down, they fear rejection. And yet they continue to bring it onto themselves.

The narcissist sees every interaction they have with people as a source of supply.

Image by Charlotte May

They feel a sense of entitlement and believe it is other people’s duty to make the narcissist feel better about themselves. 

When the narcissist is not getting what they want from your interaction with them,

they will simply discard you and use the information they have learnt about you against you.

This form of control gives them supply and makes them feel powerful.

They want to punish anybody that threatens their false ego or those who do not submit to their manipulations and give them what they want.

Don’t give them any information about your life when having to interact with them.

They will only store conversations in their memory like data, and use it against you to hurt your feelings and your reputation.

The truth will be twisted to make you look bad at your most vulnerable moments.  

I believe, the best way to avoid it, is to not open yourself up too much to new people in your life until you really get to know them.

And I have learnt this lesson the hard way, many, many times.

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Awareness is power.