Choosing their supply
Notice that the narcissist can be very selective about whom they give their attention or fake niceness to.
Most of the time, they prefer to be associated with people of authority, successful or popular people, or those who are physically attractive.
Anybody that can make them ‘look good’ to the outside world.
The narcissist believes that these types of people will give them an image of success and popularity.
They want to be admired for their image.
And those that do not fit these criteria are deemed ‘not good enough’ for the narcissist.
Don’t be offended if the narcissist does not want to associate with you and if they make you feel like you are worthless.
The truth is, it is a blessing when they are not in our lives.
It is the narcissist who feel worthless, and they need to use their selected individuals to make them feel like they are somebody.
Ultimately, they will still end up using and abusing all those they are fake nice to.
Everyone in their life nearly always becomes a threat to their false ego, their friends will eventually become their enemy.
Those who were once in authority, popular and successful can be broken down to having nothing by accepting the narcissist into their life.
Sometimes it is better for the narcissist to think that we have nothing of value for them to want.
It leaves them feeling bored with us, and they will move on quickly seeking supply elsewhere.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to see the truth of the narcissist’s selective behavior when we are children.
It is hurtful and discriminating when we are excluded, judged and treated like we are not good enough.
Especially when it comes from our own family members. I have felt those emotions many, many times.
I pray for all those who have been affected in similar ways, to see the truth of the narcissist’s ways.
The truth has been healing and empowering for me,
and I want that for everyone who is still struggling with the emotions of not feeling good enough.
Also, do not use the knowledge of the narcissist’s insecurities as a reason to feel sorry for them,
to ignore their poor behaviors or allow them to stay in your life.
This only enables them because they evade all accountability for their cruel and exploitive ways.
No contact, if possible, truly is the best way to deal with a narcissist.
The lessons we can learn
Any form of relationship is not a genuine one, if it is with a narcissist.
Don’t allow yourself to be a prop, used for someone else’s gain, image, or popularity.
Real relationships or friendships should be based on trust, honesty, integrity, respect, authenticity, genuine kindness and reciprocated love and efforts.
Just believe that these caring relationships really do exist,
and be willing to let go of any toxic and one-sided relationships we subconsciously hold onto.
If you have genuine positive characteristics in you, then you must believe that there are others who are kind and genuine out there too.
People who do not just mirror our traits whilst hiding their heartless true selves underneath.
If you feel anxious around somebody even when they appear to be kind,
it often means we are not meant to be around them.
Seek out people who make you feel at peace.
At peace with yourself and at peace when you are around them.
It took me decades to learn this lesson, but I believe it is one we all must learn.
I lived with anxiety for most of my life believing it was normal,
I didn’t know what real peace was until I learned that covert narcissists were a real existence in my world.
Awareness and knowledge truly are powerful tools to change the quality of one’s life.
Also be aware of anybody who emotionally pushes you to commit in decisions too quickly.
Whether that is financial or relationship commitments.
When you feel pressured, it is often part of a manipulation tactic used to exploit, control, and possibly to trap you.
