Rumors and gossip
I believe that the most common way the narcissist triangulates their victims,
is to simply spread rumors by twisting the truth or straight-out lie behind the victim’s back.
In ways where it makes the victim look like the bad guy or that they are the crazy person and not to be trusted.
The victim then suddenly has extra enemies, also known as flying monkeys to do the dirty work for the narcissist.
Sadly, when the victim does finally speak their truth,
they are already made to look like the liars or the manipulative bullies and are often not believed.
The power of words can be immense and very damaging, even if it is a lie.
It can destroy trust in what were once genuine relationships.
And it can destroy possibilities of new genuine relationships for the victims involved.
But truth will always out last gossip.
Even if it takes years, the truth will often come to light and the narcissists will be seen for who they truly are.
Do not allow lies about you to bring down your confidence, always stand in your light of truth.
I remember when I struggled with this at a young age, I learned to use their lies to sort out my true friends from the fake ones.
Genuine people that you need as your allies, are often the ones that can see through the lies and choose to stand by you.
Or they are the ones that choose to not involve in gossip and only judge you on how you treat them.
I also remember when I felt I had no allies for many years, I learned to become my own cheer leader,
knowing that God had my back, and all involved will eventually get their karma once the lies were exposed and the injustice was already done.
Being out casted and hated because of false rumors growing up, taught me resilience.
It forced me to rely only on myself at the time.
Making themselves look good at your expense
Another way the narcissist loves to triangulate is to make themselves look good at your expense.
They will often do good things just so they can point it out to others in a way that makes you appear ‘less than’ them.
Competing and comparing themselves to you simply to make them feel or appear more superior.
They can compete by judging your appearance, or telling others that you are not as smart, hard working or as kind as them.
Narcissists love trying to embarrass you in front of others, they will point out all your mistakes and downfalls whenever they can.
And watch how happy they appear when they treat you in this way.
Try to show no emotion when this happens to you, because they will feed off your shame and embarrassment.
Grey rocking is a great method to use when having to deal with them.
And if you defend yourself, they will also get supply from your reaction, or simply state that you are being too sensitive.
The narcissist has no limits of the lies they will tell, simply to make them look better than you or others in any situation.
And they have no limits of who they will lie about, even if it is their own innocent children who desperately seeks nothing but love and acceptance from them.
Narcissists will try and shame their victims, so the victims feel like they are always at fault and never good enough.
In this way, the narcissist can always feel more superior and better than the victim.
Behaving this way, gives them the supply they are desperately needing to validate and prop up their false and fragile ego.