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Threatened by your relationships

The narcissist can be super friendly and compliment you to your face acting like they have your back.

And you will think you have a trusted ally by your side.

But behind your back, they are persuading everyone to hate you, by telling them lies about you.

And all at the same time, they are often telling you how horrible all these other people are, the ones they have turned against you.

Because, if you all mistrust each other, then you will likely never get together and converse to discover that the narcissist had been playing you all.

Image by Karabo Lengwadi

This appears to be the perfect triangulation tactic.

Especially if they are jealous of a relationship, they want for themselves.

Narcissists do not like seeing other people have happy relationships,

so they will often seek to destroy other’s chances of happiness and success within these relationships by causing conflict.

And more so, if they are already using that relationship as supply for themselves.

They do not want that supply to go elsewhere, and can easily become jealous and possessive.

Narcissists may not want their children to leave home because they are using them as a means to an end.

Children are simply seen as supply, energy to use, someone to manipulate and control.

Image by Kindel Media

Losing control of their children also deeply offends their fragile ego.

This is why they want their children to need them and to remain codependent on them.

So, they may instill fear or guilt in their children with all the reasons why they shouldn’t leave.

And if you choose to leave the family dynamic, be prepared for a smear campaign towards you.

Narcissists may also use illnesses to make people feel sorry for them and feel obligated to stay around to assist.

You may think you are being caring, but you can simply be enabling their toxic co-dependency and abuse.

Be sure to look at the details before you decide on how much you choose to help.  

The narcissist may also not want their friend to have a partner,

Image by Liza Summer

because that would mean they will get less attention and supply from that current friend.

The new partner can then become a threat to the narcissist, a target for triangulation.

Narcissists hate it when you succeed them in love or friendships.

Having more successful relationships than them threatens their false ego.

It can prove to them that you have more love and attention than them,

and that you don’t need them which may trigger their fear of abandonment.

Especially if those relationships give you a rise in success in other areas of your life, it will make them feel inferior.

Narcissists will often feel the need to control all your relationships with others, even isolating you from others just so they can feel in control of you.

The scapegoat and the golden child

The scapegoat and the golden child in a toxic family dynamic is also a form of narcissistic triangulation.

Toxic parents often use triangulation in the family, playing the children against each other.

The children can then begin competing for the parent’s attention, validation, or affection.

This can cause mistrust, hate and sibling rivalry between the siblings, which can also create sibling rivalry in all other areas of their life.

And sadly, the scapegoat will likely get all the blame projected onto them no matter what the truth is.

If the scapegoat does not conform and go along with the toxic mind games,

they are often triangulated out of the family dynamic and become the competition or the enemy.

Image by RDNE Stock project

I feel I was treated as the scapegoat in my toxic family dynamic, and when I began pushing back against all their lies,

it caused me to be further rejected by family members.

But I would not have it any other way.

I would rather live in truth and reclaim my peace, than to have them and their delusional thinking affecting my life and relationships anymore than they already have.

Narcissistic parents get a sense of superiority when their own children compete for their validation.

The children’s efforts make the parents feel important, powerful and in control, further feeding their false and inflated ego.

Their children is used as an extension of themselves, so the narcissist wants them to conform to uphold the false image they try and portray of themselves.

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Awareness is power.