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The love triangle

Many narcissists create triangulation in their love relationships where a third party is always involved.

They may use their old supply against their new supply and vice versa.

New supply

The new supply (new partner) is often the main primary supply, the number one slave to be used and controlled.

And are often used as a comparison to show the old supply how much better the new supply is compared to them.

Supply may include financial, blind loyalty, attention, validation to their false ego, a house to live in, an emotional punching bag,

someone to cook and clean for them, someone that gives them status or a good image, or anything else that the narcissist may be seeking.

Image by Ba Tik

New supply are often willing to give their all to the narcissist, because they have not yet seen the narcissist for who they truly are.

But this can make the old supply feel like they were not doing enough in the relationship to keep the narcissist.

Because the narcissist is showering the new supply with all the love and attention that the old supply desperately wanted and never got.

Often the old supply is still trauma bonded to the narcissist after they have left, and this way of thinking brings down their self-esteem even further.

If you have become the old supply, please see it as a blessing that the narcissist is now out of your life.

Use your time to focus on healing, breaking the trauma bond and creating self-love.

Understand that you deserve to be treated better and you deserve someone better, someone genuine.

Creating jealousy

Narcissists love to flirt with others, then deny the fact, simply to create jealousy and competition within their relationships.

They want to be adored by everyone and honestly believe that everyone wants them, and they want to be seen as such.

You may feel that they will abandon you at any time,

or feel the need to prove your love to them just to get the much-needed attention and validation you may think you need from them.

Chasing their love makes them feel in control, powerful and important.

Narcissists create this sense of competition because they want you to fight for their affection.

They want you to hate and resent the other supply, they want you to be jealous.

Image by Budgeron Bach

Sadly, this sense of competition is also created by narcissistic parents in a toxic family dynamic between siblings causing sibling rivalry.

This is all part of their manipulation and control over your fears and emotions.

Your need for acceptance, attention and validation, your fears of abandonment are used against you, and you are not even aware of it.

And often we will do what it is they want us to do, until we come to understand our self-worth and independence.

When we have grown up feeling neglected and never experiencing unconditional love, it can make us susceptible to these toxic cycles in our relationships.

Please do not allow the narcissist to destroy your peace with feelings of jealousy.

You will only end up fighting for the bare minimum of attention, simply bread crumbs and often you will get nothing at all for your efforts.

Reacting in this way only pleases the narcissist, and they have no intention of pleasing you in return.

You become old supply

Even though the narcissist may have a primary source of supply within their current relationship, nothing is ever enough.

And so, many will go out seeking new supply outside of the relationship.

Often ghosting their current relationship and keeping them in a place of stagnancy and no closure,

so, the narcissist feel they can come back when they wish. 

It may feel like they are giving you the silent treatment, leaving you wondering if it is something you have done wrong.

And they will normally come back when they have run out of supply elsewhere.

Or the narcissist may disguise the new supply as a ‘friend’.

Once the new supply is secured, you may find that the narcissist may suddenly end things with you.

And suddenly, you have become the old supply.

Image by SHVETS production

Narcissists may try to keep their old supply as ‘friends’ or delay the divorce if they are married,

so, their exes can remain tied to them and be easily accessible when needed for future supply.

These dynamics and lies allows the narcissist to live a double or secret love life.

Any old or new supply that stays involved with the narcissist become enablers to their false narratives and toxic ways.

And many narcissists may have more than two romantic relationships at any one time.

This gives the narcissist’s plenty of supply which they love, and feeds their false ego.

They never entered the relationship with you because of love, they do not understand love.

Their love bombing and empty words were all manipulation tactics to gaslight and use you,

and that is why they do not care about your feelings when they enter into other relationships so cold heartedly.

They actually get annoyed that you are annoyed about it if they are exposed, and will likely blame you for their infidelity.

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Awareness is power.