Learning to respond instead of reacting
Seeing through the narcissist’s intentions will help us understand that their behavior is a reflection of their insecurities.
We are not to own the blame that they project and deflect onto us.
Don’t take what they do or say personally as a reflection of your own self-worth.
By understanding our own emotional triggers and insecurities,
it will also assist us to respond instead of react.
Grey rocking is an effective method to create boundaries and protect your energy.
By not giving the narcissist the emotional reaction, they are counting on,
it can minimize the blame they can attack us with during the use of reactive abuse.
Often, we can feel so hurt and may want to treat the narcissist in the same way they are treating us.
But this only gives them the justification they are seeking,
whilst they will deny their actions and attack you for the very same thing they have done.
Our reaction for wanting to make them feel the hurt we feel will only cause ourselves more pain in the end.
An emotionally healthy individual, may learn and understand their mistakes when we react in this way.
They may feel bad once they realize the emotional impact their actions has caused.
But a narcissist will always use our reactions to excuse, deny, project or deflect their abusive behaviors,
whilst manipulating the situation for personal rewards.
And gain an ego boost through a delusional sense of righteousness.
Don’t waste time reasoning with the narcissist
It is a waste of time trying to make the narcissist see reason for the complete injustice of the situation.
They have already convinced themselves that their actions are entitled and justified.
If you attempt to make them, see reason,
then you will drive yourself insane and feel more frustrated in the end.
The argument will go around in circles and your energy will feel depleted.
Everything that you say to them in the argument will be twisted and used against you.
Involving ourselves in an argument with the narcissist only makes us become their supply.
They love conflict, it feeds them supply thus giving them more power for control.
We can begin to act insane from the frustration,
and the narcissist will happily point out that we are insane and cannot be trusted.
Our reactions will appear to support their false narrative.
When we remain non-reactive and in control of our thoughts and emotions,
this is when the narcissist often loses control of themselves and control of us.
They are only in control when we are out of control.
And when they are out of control, they will more likely expose themselves and their intentions.
Narcissists are so toxic that they are not pathologically able to ever take accountability.
Don’t waste your time pleading or reasoning with a brick wall that only has intentions to destroy you.
They will protect their false image at all costs, even if it means destroying everyone else around them.
And especially those who are closest to them.
