From love bombed to competition
In the beginning of a relationship with the narcissist, you often think that you have met your soulmate or made a great friend.
Someone attentive, giving and has so much in common with you.
The narcissist appears to idolize your positive traits and achievements.
They praise you often, and it makes you feel good.
But once the love bombing is over, the devaluation begins in the relationship,
everything that narcissist appeared to love you for, are often the very things the narcissist ends up despising you for.
They admired all your great qualities at the start, because they don’t possess those qualities themselves.
And overtime, they get envious that you have these qualities in you and they do not.
The narcissist will then attempt to destroy and take away those very qualities,
whilst trying to stop you from receiving more goodness into your life.
Their envy can be hidden so well behind their false mask,
that you don’t even know that you have gone from someone they admired, to becoming their adversary.
And suddenly, unaware that you could be sleeping with the enemy who is plotting to bring you down.
You never thought that you could become their opponent because in the beginning, it appears you both have the same attributes.
But everything the narcissist portrayed was all a lie.
Their character, attributes, morals and values were a façade.
They were only mimicking who you were, to impress you, to gain your trust and to manipulate you into a relationship with them.
No one is allowed to be better than them
Narcissists will compete with you, even when it is obvious, they don’t have the knowledge, the experience or the skills involved in the subject.
They cannot accept anyone having any form of success or superiority above them.
This is when they will often make up information and may expose themselves to look like the fool they are.
They will lie and protest to anyone who will listen,
in a sad attempt to make themselves feel like they are winning above anyone who is perceived as a threat or as competition.
Some narcissists will even be bold enough to compete with authority figures such as police, judges or lawyers.
They do not believe that rules and laws are for them, but they feel entitled to make rules for everyone else.
They cannot stand to have anyone having more, knowing more or being more than they are.
If it does not involve someone else failing, every situation becomes a potential threat to their insecurities and false ego.
And so, every situation is then seen as a competition for them to win, just so they can feel secure and in control.
Feeding their ego appears to be the only way they can control their emotions.
It is the way they avoid all other feelings they deem uncomfortable; such as guilt, shame or feeling flawed and inferior.
No one is allowed to be better than them, because it triggers their low self-esteem which then offends their ego,
causing a narcissistic injury that often turns into a narcissistic rage.
They attack you, not because they hate you, but because they fear you are better than them.
Having something you are proud of can automatically and unknowingly make you their opponent, and a target of their jealous rage.