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The belief that everyone can be saved by love

Most empaths have a strong belief that everyone can be saved by love.

Although that may be true with some individuals, it is not true for the narcissist.

Narcissists do not have the self-awareness to take accountability for their ways, to able change at all.

And they deem love and kindness as a weakness.

To them, they are just traits the narcissist can exploit and manipulate for their benefit.

Empaths are like the healers of society, and their core character is in fact, very strong.

Image by Pixabay

They carry the burden of others whilst carrying their own burden, and still staying true to who they are.

The narcissist does not want to even carry their own burdens,

and will cold heartedly dump their shame and project their actions onto others.

They want to be the victims, and in their eyes, nothing is never their fault.

I was one who had the belief that everyone could be saved,

and I wish I had have realized sooner that it’s in fact not true at all.

This belief allowed me to lose my confidence, to be used, abused, lied to, easily manipulated,

and to become an enabler to people that never deserved my time, respect or efforts.

Taking on the narcissist’s responsibilities

Many empaths, especially at a young age will take on the burdens and responsibilities of the narcissist’s,

because they are easily manipulated into it with guilt and obligation.

And their need to please others, avoid drama and resolve conflict can make empaths submit to the narcissist’s manipulations.

They will lose themselves for taking on the responsibilities of others,

and often are willing to do so because they can believe it is for the greater good.

It saddens me to think that the people in this world who have the biggest hearts,

are often the ones who are being used, abused and made to look like the abuser.

Image by Mental Health America (MHA)

I wish for all empaths reading this, to please put yourself first and walk away if someone is hurting you.

If people make you feel like you are not enough and that everything is always your fault,

although you know that you give more than you get, then it is time to exit the relationship.

Empaths becoming enablers

Empaths often sacrifice themselves for the sake of trying to save the abuser,

not realizing it is wasted efforts and that they are only becoming enablers.

The narcissist doesn’t want healing from the empath, they only want to exploit them.

It is easy for empaths to become enablers simply for being themselves,

through the constant act of forgiving the narcissist for their poor behaviors.

We often believe that everyone deserves a second chance, or a third, fourth, fifth or even the hundredth chance.

It is what we were taught growing up, and it is what we believe we need when we are aware of own shameful mistakes.

Forgiveness is permission

But forgiveness to a narcissist, is only seen as permission for them to continue their poor behaviors and abusive ways.

They are convinced that they have gotten away with it, because we have disregarded their behaviors by believing and accepting their lies.

And by continuing to give the narcissist love, sympathy and attention as we remain in their lives after their hidden abuse.

Image by SHVETS production

It can also be easy to forgive someone who apologizes and appears to have a rational excuse for their toxic behaviors.

But an apology from the narcissist, only becomes a manipulation tactic rather than a meaningful regret of action.

They are sorry that they got caught, but they are never sorry for what they’ve done.

And it is often the last resort when their other manipulation tactics don’t work to evade accountability.

Don’t give them the benefit of the doubt

Narcissists will never feel guilt or have remorse for their actions, and will likely do all the things that hurt you time and time again.

If they can’t get away with it to your face, they will just hide their poor behaviors behind your back.

Giving narcissists the benefit of the doubt is also seen as permission to the narcissists.

They believe they have fooled us and will continue to deceive us through their constant gaslighting.

We want to believe the lies, because it makes us feel good, we want to believe the narcissist is a good person and never meant to hurt us.

But we must open our eyes to the truth and believe only what is true and not the words they tell us.

To continue giving them the benefit of the doubt, will only make us stay in their lives as enablers longer than we have to.

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Awareness is power.