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Only give to relationships that reciprocate

Empaths need caring and honest relationships in their lives, and we all must believe that we can have it.

People that give so much to others, deserve to have that reciprocated back.

When we grow up not knowing what real love is, we can feel like we don’t deserve it, it doesn’t exist or ‘it’s too good to be true’.

These are false beliefs, and it took me most of my life to realize this.

There are many beautiful, honest and caring souled people in the world, all waiting to meet each other.

But we cannot have our hands free and open to these relationships,

when we hold onto the toxic relationships that we have become accustom to.

Image by Odonata Wellnesscenter

These harmful relationships are guaranteed to always be one sided.

The narcissist will endlessly take, expecting to always have their way,

while the empath always gives whilst never getting their needs met.

This is when you may see empaths feel frustrated and begin acting just like the narcissist,

because they are drained, confused, hurt and let down by the many lies and empty promises from the narcissist.

Sadistically, the narcissist will never care and they just get annoyed at the empath for feeling hurt,

having needs and not giving as much love and effort to the narcissist as before.

A genuine caring person would be more sensitive and attentive when the others are hurt,

but narcissists only get frustrated and will just seek supply elsewhere.

All the while blaming and punishing the empath for being honest or having needs and feelings of their own.

Image by Polina Zimmerman

You can tell the narcissist how much they have hurt you, and they will just stare at you blankly in disgust.

And if that wasn’t hurtful enough, they will use your emotional reactions to their abuse as a way to play victim,

make you look like the abuser and turn people against you.

I have experienced this from close family members and the narcissistic partners I’ve had throughout my life.

The experience makes you feel like you are going insane,

and the emotional suffering from the heartbreak and betrayal is so intense because these were the people closest to you,

people you gave your love and trust to, that were supposed to care and love you back.

Since realizing that certain people around me will never change, and everything they ever said was a lie to benefit them,

tis one of the reasons I now only want to give to those who reciprocate real effort, love, respect, kindness, honesty and authenticity back to me.

Whether you believe in psychics or not, the truth is;

it was a psychic lady who told me that my relationships needed to be balanced,

that I was giving away too much of myself to people that didn’t reciprocate or appreciate,

and that I needed to stop giving these people the benefit of the doubt.

Image by Anna Tarazevich

And it took me 37 years to finally wake up and stop allowing myself to be used and lied to by those who were closest to me.  

Your efforts are expected and never appreciated

You can give all the love and efforts you have in your heart to a narcissist and it will never be enough.

And you would be lucky, if you got 5% of those efforts reciprocated back to you.

The very little they do give, will always be used against you.

Their efforts are never sincere and never from the heart.

They are only a part of the manipulation tactics they use to keep you in a relationship with them,

just so they can keep taking from you.

It will also be used as ‘proof’ to others outside of the relationship as ‘all the things I’ve done for them’.

But hardly any, out of your hundreds of efforts you have done for them will ever be mentioned or remembered.

The empath’s love and efforts are only seen as supply to a narcissist.

It is something the narcissist expects without ever having to earn it or appreciate it, and they will easily discard you once you stop giving them what they want.

The narcissist will always be seeking more supply outside of the relationship.

And they feel completely entitled to do so, even if it means betraying you or destroying you.

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Awareness is power.