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Being an empath is not a curse

I will admit, that most of my life I was an over caring empath who was easily manipulated to be exploited by many.

I lacked confidence because of the way certain family members treated me in my childhood.

And my whole life, I didn’t even realize it until I look back now,

but I attracted mostly people in my relationships that treated me the very same way my family did.

There is such thing as giving too much and being too caring.

Image by cottonbro

I had a ‘save everyone in the world complex’ growing up, but that way of being later became problematic.

My efforts were wasted trying saving all the wrong people,

because I didn’t know that narcissists existed and what they were really about.

I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.

My rose-colored glasses were glued permanently onto my face.

I kept giving people chance after chance just because they made effort to give a sob story,

give fake apologies or appeared to have rational reasoning for their poor behaviors.

I even worked in a prison with the intention of wanting to help rehabilitate the prisoners so they could heal,

change their ways and become good people of society.

I know now that I was completely naïve!

Most of these people did not want to take accountability for their crimes or actions, and it appeared that they did not want to change at all.

And I allowed people closest to me to treat me like crap because I had learned to ignore my own needs and grow thick skin to survive them,

Image by Karolina Grabowska

just so I could continue to help them and get on with my own life,

all the while they continued to exploit, gaslight and betray me.

I realize now I was not helping them, but rather, I allowed them to use me.

I had blind loyalty for them, I was a true enabler.

Being an empath is not a curse, but being too giving to the wrong people, I believe becomes the curse.

Since discovering the truth of narcissists in our world, I learned to have more control over my thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions.

Now, some people think that I am a bitch just because I no longer allow people to lie to me or to use me.

But I know I am still caring; I am only now very selective of who I decide to give my empathic efforts and energies to.

I share this from my experiences as I know many empaths reading this will relate.

Do not feel guilty for having boundaries and cutting toxic people out of your life, even if they are family or loved ones.

Sometimes it is best, and definitely easier to love people from a distance.

That was a huge lesson for me to learn, but life has brought me so much peace since I embraced it.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The narcissist wants the empath to depend on them

Narcissists hold onto relationships with the intention of making their victims become reliant on them.

Even when they know they don’t have the intention or sources of giving the victim what they want or need.

Narcissists only use lies of empty promises, false offers of opportunities and future faking to manipulate and deceive their victims.

Image by Julia Larson

They want the empath to believe the lies and become dependent on their words.

Because living in hope is the only thing that actually keeps us staying in these toxic relationships.

If you never grew up with confidence, or real love, support and attention,

then it’s easy to become vulnerable to the narcissist’s empty promises and manipulations.

Because deep down, we crave these things the narcissist is offering it to us, unaware that they are all lies.

Unaware that they have learnt about our needs and vulnerabilities, just to use them against us.

We only stay in their presence in the hopes of the promises eventuating one day, but they never do.

And if they do, there is always a hidden catch that only benefits the narcissist in the end.

We all want someone to understand us, to support us, love us for who we are and to meet our needs.

Image by Monstera

Sadly, for many of us, we never got to experience these things growing up as children.

This is why healing from our past traumas and the act of self love is extremely important,

so, we don’t easily fall prey and become trapped by the false love and promises from the narcissist.

Narcissists want us to believe that we are lucky to have them in our lives,

But it is only the opposite of that statement, which holds true.

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Awareness is power.