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Grey rock to cut off narcissistic supply

Narcissistic supply is their number one objective they live for, it is like needing air to breathe and they need supply to survive.

They endlessly need validation and attention to support their false grandiose self or their narrative fantasies.

They also love watching you get triggered, just so they can blame everything on your reactions while you appear as the unstable one.

This is called reactive abuse.

They will seek to manipulate anyone into giving them admiration, validation or attention.

This includes good or bad attention.

Being involved in drama, to a narc is a form of narcissistic supply.

Image by Keira Burton

Narcissists love an argument; they love conflict where they can ultimately make themselves appear as the victim.

Playing the victim is also supply to the narc, because they have the opportunity to gain other people’s sympathy.

And even when they are abusing and bullying us, they additionally get extra supply from the superiority they feel.

It may sound sadistic, but narcissists truly feel empowered by watching us break down and suffer.

Our suffering is their happiness.

Every interaction with the narcissist only involves them trying to gain supply at our expense.

When we go grey rock in any interaction with the narcissist, it cuts them from the supply they are seeking.

Thus, making them feel bored and invalidated and it leaves them seeking for attention and validation elsewhere.

They will try anything to make you feel guilty, or give them sympathy,

and even use insults, threats and blackmail just to get a rise out of you and create more drama and conflict.

Using these techniques is an endless cycle for the narcissists, all to gain narcissistic supply.

They are like predators hunting for victims that give easy supply.

You cannot have a normal interaction with a narcissist

It is sad to think that we cannot have normal interactions or conversations with our partner, friend, family or co-worker if they are a narcissist.

Image by Yan Krukov

Every interaction is at your expense so they can use and abuse you for narcissistic supply.

They will have no empathy for the pain they cause you, because they can gain attention from it.

You cannot even share a difference of opinion because the narcissist feels that you must go along with only their views.

Even if that view changes constantly to suit their current narrative at any given time,

they will take offence if you do not go along with them and will often feel the need to punish and attack you.

We cannot even defend ourselves from the attacks because interacting in their toxicity is only giving them the supply they are after.

It is best to fight back by being emotionally neutral so we don’t give them the reaction that they want.

In normal relationships, we tend to ask questions to understand and get to know the other person better.

And this is a positive thing to do when forming potential, healthy and long lasting relationships.

But if you question a narcissist, they often see it as an attack and a threat that exposes their false identity,

which can lead to an unpredictable, and unintentionally provoked narcissistic rage.

This can leave us feeling confused and hurt, simply just for wanting to get to know the narcissist,

or just needing to understand and seek clarity in the inconsistencies of their stories.

When we are doing well in life, we often like to share our successes and happiness from having our hard work pay off.

Image by Sarah Chai

But when we share our happiness with a narcissist, they will seek to tear down our joy.

They are extremely envious of anyone else’s happiness and success,

and expect our source of happiness to only come from them.

If you are not doing so well in life, this is when the narcissist feels content.

They love feeling superiority over everyone else, and will heartlessly point out your failures to you and anyone else who will listen.

Trying to interact and have a normal caring and compassionate relationship with a narcissist is virtually impossible.

So, it appears we must use the grey rock method just to protect ourselves.

And if possible, going no contact will give you the luxury of having more peace and positivity in your life.

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Awareness is power.