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The majority of narcissists are the typical bullies we often envisage when we think of how bullies are.

They are so miserable with their own lives that they feel a sense of relief by being mean toward others.

And sadistically, they secretly take pleasure seeing other people in distress.

Everyone of us will encounter a narcissistic bully in our life time.

Whether they are peers at school, our neighbors, landlord, boss or co-worker,

an acquaintance, friend, a partner or even our own family members.

Why are they mean?

Bullying is an unhealthy and destructive coping mechanism that the narcissist adapts in their lifestyle,

as a way to feel relief from their own darkness and emotional pain.

To put it simply, they forcefully and heartlessly dump their shame onto others, whether they are aware of it or not.

Image by Yan Krukov

And, it is also the way the narcissist uses their position to belittle and intimidate their victims,

to make them do what the narcissist wants by pressure and coercion.

Narcissist vs empath

When empathic people experience pain, they know how much it hurts and will try to go out of their way to never put that same pain onto anybody else.

If they do, it is often only aimed at the abuser that inflicted that pain in the first place.

This is only done by empaths that have a strong sense for justice when they feel like they are backed into a corner and it’s the only way to defend or protect themselves.

And when they do unintentionally let out their pain on those who don’t deserve it,

the empath will likely feel so bad and be willing to take full accountability and responsibility.

Empaths will often feel the need to go on a mission to heal others and save other beings from emotional suffering.

Image by cottonbro

They can feel a sense of purpose and relief from their own pain when they place their focus on helping other people.

Whereas the narcissist feels relief from their pain when they see that others are suffering as they are.

And heartlessly, they will likely feel a bigger sense of relief and satisfaction when others are suffering worse than the narcissist themselves.

Although the narcissist will never admit it because in their eyes, no one is a bigger victim than they are,

and everyone else should ‘just suck it up’ because the narcissist believes ‘they got what they deserved’.

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Awareness is power.