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The victims are often those who are the closest

Most of the time, the targeted victim will be someone who has a close relationship with the narcissist,

whether they are a partner, family member, close friend or a co-worker.

Someone who the narcissist has had much time learning about their wants, needs, emotional weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

Image by Andrea Piacquadio

This knowledge is power to the narcissist who then uses it against the target to get what they want.

The narcissist will then attempt to silence their victim through isolation, triangulation, shame, guilt, obligation or intimidation.

It completely saddens me to think that those closest to you, could treat you in such a way as the narcissist does.

And the narcissist does not discriminate, they will even bully their own young children,

then project the blame onto the child, forcing the child to feel shame for something the narcissist was guilty of themselves.

As a child, I felt much of this pain. And it hurt more when no one understood or believed me.

I remember praying to God almost every night, that just for one day, I didn’t want to get into trouble for simply being myself.

Looking back now, I see that I was just the scapegoat for everyone to dump their shame onto.

Image by Pexels

And as a young scared, confused and naïve child, I took on the responsibility for their feelings and began taking on the blame and shame,

that ultimately belonged to the narcissists in my family.

They made me feel like I was never good enough, but I realize now that that belief was a total lie.

Maintaining control

Narcissists feel a severe lack of control in their life and in themselves.

This is why they are on a constant mission to intimidate, dominate and control everyone and every situation they encounter.

And by bullying others, it helps them to feel powerful.

Feeling powerful allows them to feel in control.

The narcissist feels powerful when they can affect someone else’s emotions, especially when they are putting others in a weak, suffering or vulnerable state.

They do not like to empower others because seeing other people have success makes them feel inferior.

Thus, causing themselves an injury to their ego and having to feel a lack of self-worth which they spend their whole life desperately avoiding.

Narcissists measure their own self worth by comparing themselves to others.

This is why bullying others often becomes a way to maintain control and protect their ego,

They will do whatever it takes to avoid feeling a lack self-worth in themselves,

even if it means to break down someone else’s sense of confidence and self-worth by attempting to destroy every aspect of their loved one’s lives.

Image by Alex Green

The narcissist needs to use others as a way to validate their worth because they lack a sense of their own identity.

This means that others easily become a threat to their sensitive egos,

just for being themselves and doing nothing intentional towards the narcissist.

Simply by being yourself in a narcissist’s space you can become their adversary and a target for their bullying behavior.

Dominating over other people is the way the narcissist over compensates for their deep internal fears and weaknesses.

Such as fears of being vulnerable, weak, helpless, feeling worthless or having no control.

Narcissists live in a world where they believe that they must dominate and control others or others will do it to them.

It is fear-based thinking, the narcissist’s beliefs and actions mostly stem from fear and never from love.

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Awareness is power.