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A scapegoat is someone who is blamed for the faults and mistakes of others.

They become a convenience for the responsibility and accountability for other’s wrong doings.

Reasons the narcissist needs a scapegoat

The purpose of the scapegoat in a toxic family dynamic is to have someone to blame for all the disfunction of the family.

It is mainly to serve the narcissistic parent’s self-interest and for the survival of the toxic dynamic, which helps to uphold the parent’s false image.

The scapegoat is the one who gets all the blame and shame projected onto them,

just so the toxic family members can avoid accountability for their own downfall, actions and or consequences.

Things that go wrong within the family, will somehow be twisted into being the scapegoat’s fault.

Possible signs of being the scapegoat

There are many signs that may prove you are the family scapegoat.

If you have experienced these signs, it is likely that you have been in the position of the scapegoat.

-You are constantly ignored, your views or opinions are rarely heard or validated by the toxic members of the family.

And you may even find that any idea of yours will be taken by the narcissistic family members,

they may claim it for their own, and take the credit for what is rightfully yours.

-Your family will make you feel that everything you say and do is worthless.

Image by August de Richelieu

This can cause a negative impact on your confidence, especially as a child growing up in the world.

-They will often try to embarrass and shame you in front of other people to try and silence you.

Because they fear that if you speak your truth first in front of others, you will embarrass and shame them.

-Everything that they are guilty of, are projected onto you.

They will try and hold you accountable for faults that are their own.

You may even be unaware of it most of the time, as this can often be done by spreading lies about you to others behind your back.

-Your achievements are ignored, minimized, or rarely celebrated.

Image by Gustavo Fring

But if there are people watching or they get something out of it,

that is the only times your toxic family members will pretend to proud of your achievements.

They want to take credit for your success.

-You will always be seen as the bad person.

They truly believe that you do not deserve your achievements and cannot fathom how you got it.

And they want others outside the family to also believe that you are the bad person,

as they do not want to take any accountability for your struggles, your needs in life or even that of their own.

Image by Inzmam Khan

-You feel abandoned by your own family members and people outside because they often believe the lies told by the narcissistic family members.

These lies cause conflict and drama between you and others, which makes it difficult for you to trust anyone.

And others do not trust you because they believe the lies.

You identify with feelings of isolation and being a misfit in society, and having extreme emotions of loneliness.

All these painful experiences can cause depression and PTSD, but also create resilience, force you to have strong independence,

and experience some form of spiritual awareness.

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Awareness is power.