Benefits for having a scapegoat
There are many benefits for having a scapegoat in the toxic family dynamic.
It gives the narcissistic parents a reason for not having to be responsible or accountable for their lack of performing parental duties.
It can also give the other family members a free pass from being the target for blame, bullying and projection.
And sadly, the scapegoat’s siblings can also become a bully to avoid having to be the bullied themselves
The narcissistic parent/ parents often triangulate their children so the siblings will turn against each other
and likely in ways where the scapegoat will always look like the bad guy.
Having a scapegoat is a way where the narcissists can avoid facing their own suppressed feelings they do not want to deal with.
The scapegoat then becomes the emotional punching bag for the narcissists,
because they need someone to project all their fear, pain and shame onto.
Although this act becomes very painful and confusing for the scapegoat,
it is a form of defense and self-protection for the narcissists.
The narcissists often have no intentions of changing,
and will likely allocate another family member as the next scapegoat if or when the first scapegoat leaves the toxic family system.
Who becomes the scapegoat?
The truth teller, the empath or the highly sensitive child often becomes the scapegoat.
Or you may find the scapegoat can possess all 3 qualities in their personality.
The truth teller is often targeted because the narcissistic family members fear exposure.
So, they will make any attempts to make the truth teller appear crazy or as a liar.
The empath or sensitive person is targeted because of their caring nature and sensitivity to other people’s emotions.
They can absorb other people’s energies and emotions like a sponge.
This makes them become an easy target to project all the shame and blame onto that the narcissists do not want to feel or take accountability for.
In turn, these individuals often take on the blame and shame as their own,
always feeling like they are never good enough and constantly trying to please everyone.
The confident or gifted child who knows who they are and can see through the lies also are targets.
They unknowingly and naturally project back the narcissists behaviors which threatens the narcissists.
And the narcissists can make them a target for abuse as a form of punishment.
The child sadly becomes the victim of scapegoating just for being who they are.
The scapegoat’s reality is persistently ignored, dismissed, minimized, or diminished.
And they can easily be rejected from the family dynamic, simply for being a threat to the family’s false narratives.
That is often how they become the black sheep of the family.