The scapegoat’s behaviors as they grow up
The scapegoat often grow up with feelings of shame that has been projected onto them during their childhood.
They can feel like there is something wrong with them, that their true self is somehow defected and never good enough.
They constantly feel bad about themselves which can lead to self-hatred.
As the scapegoat grows up, they may act out and project things onto others as a way of self-protection.
They may become aggressive, learning to fight for respect, freedom and control.
The scapegoat can also appear dismissive and hypocritical.
And numbing their emotions to avoid any thoughts, memories or feelings that cause them pain.
This can also lead to addictions and other risk taking and harmful behaviors.
These behaviors may appear very much like the narcissist’s behavior’s that affected them in the first place.
Their life’s experiences can lead them to think and act from a state of fear and lack mentality.
The highly empathic scapegoats may often conform, become submissive and apologize for faults that are not even their own.
Simply to avoid being attacked and a way to control the peace and feel safe in their surroundings.
And they genuinely do not want to see any of their family members angry or upset.
They can also take on the blame that is projected on to them,
believing that it must be their fault, and so it is their responsibility to fix the situation.
They can experience feelings of not ever being good enough for certain opportunities or relationships.
This can lead them to become hyper vigilant to their faults and the faults of others.
And this way of thinking can lead them to self sabotage, become people pleasers and to have strong desires to want to ‘fix people.’
The scapegoat can feel like they are living in a constant state of survival mode with feelings of deep anxiety and depression.
Constantly fearing that they could be attacked for any reason at any point in time
And can often find themselves in one sided relationships where they are the giver and the other is the taker.
This dynamic becomes familiar to them, and sadly they can learn to accept it as ‘normal’ during their lifetime.
Always wanting to please or ‘fix’ their emotionally damaged partner.
Once the scapegoat begins to understand their experiences and step onto the path of self healing,
feelings of self-worth and creating boundaries can become possible.
And these harmful behaviors and beliefs can begin to disappear and be replaced with more positive ones.
Which in turn will help them attract healthier relationships with emotionally healthier people.
When the scapegoat grows up, most may find themselves working in psychology, the mental health industry,
in any care taking roles, the justice department, spiritual healing or any other roles that may involve wanting to ‘fix people’.
In my experience, I found myself working with abused and neglected kids when I was in my 20s,
and I worked in the WA Department of Justice in my 30s.
And now, I have a strong sense of wanting to spiritually heal people, somehow.
I want people to feel at peace mentally and emotionally.