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No contact is the best method to manage your relationships with narcissists because it works.

Toxic relationships with narcissists often do not change, and going no contact is the most efficient way to break the abuse cycle.

And unless you are willing to always put yourself last, constantly be used or to remain an emotional punching bag for the narcissist,

then it is in your best interest to leave and go no contact.

In certain situations, such as co-parenting with or divorcing the narcissist, it may not be possible or practical to go completely no contact.

Also dealing with narcissistic work colleagues or bosses, having to deal with family members or someone you live with,

can also make it impossible to achieve the no contact rule.

In that case, ensure to minimize your interaction as much as possible and use the grey rock method.

If you have never heard of this method, I have written a post on this strategy- They Grey Rock Method.

There are also some great YouTube videos on this topic.

Doctor Ramani and Common Ego‘s YouTube videos explain grey rocking well.

Image by Pixabay

What happens when you go no contact?

Going no contact with the narcissist will trigger their fear of abandonment and you will likely experience narcissistic rage.

Please consider your safety when choosing the best way to remove yourself from the relationship.

Just remember, the narcissist sees you as a possession to control, and they will feel that loss of control when you leave them.

Their act of desperation to gain control may become evident through excessive text messages, phone calls, emails and even stalking.

When you end the relationship, they often will not accept or respect your choices and will push boundaries to get you back into their life and regain control.

You leaving them will also cause a narcissistic injury to their ego because they didn’t discard you first.

And if the narc did discard you first, they will return later with an attempt to hoover you back into their life when they are low on supply from other sources.

Delaying going no contact with the narcissist is only delaying the inevitable.

Most narcissists may see this as a game or challenge to find other ways they can try and reach out to you.

They will exhaust all manipulation tactics in a desperate attempt to gain control.

Often starting by ‘playing nice’ using tactics such as love bombing, false apologies and future faking.

Or they will offer friendship to keep that door open in the relationship so they feel they have an opportunity to hoover you back in later.

When that doesn’t work, they may guilt trip you with ‘all the things they’ve done for you’.

And ‘how unfair you’re being for leaving in this way’.

They may use lies about failing health, abuse from others or life struggles to gain your sympathy;

so that your caring nature will want to stay around and take care of them giving them more supply.

If ‘playing nice’ doesn’t work, they will up their game and will intentionally try and hurt you.

Using anything that targets your vulnerabilities and insecurities.

They will often resort to threats and blackmail in an attempt to get you back in communication with them.

All your secrets and past hurts you confided with the narcissist will be used against you in an attempt to blackmail, punish or destroy you emotionally for leaving them.

A positive or negative response from you is still seen as supply to the narcissist and they will bait you to get a reaction.

This is why you must go no contact and stand strong against the emotional manipulation.

Surround yourself with supportive people who understand what you are going through.

Image by Hannah Busing

And distance yourself from those who down play or judge your situation.

As they can further traumatize your experience.

Or they can gaslight you which can trigger you to give in and break the no contact rule to repeat the cycle of abuse all over again.

For some victims, going no contact will seem like an easy task and the narcissist may appear not phased at all.

But be aware this behavior is often short lived.

Because the narcissist is likely to already have another person whom they see as a greater source of supply.

The narc believes the door is still open for them to return to the previous supply when their other sources run dry.

This is often why we feel like there is never any closure with a narcissistic relationship.

Narcissists cannot self reflect so they cannot see the faults in their actions and do not want to change.

Your relationship with the narcissist will only get worse each time you allow them back into your life.

It seems apparent that there is no point delaying the use of going no contact.

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Awareness is power.