Don’t fall for their manipulation tactics
Do not feel guilty for cutting them out of your life.
You do not owe them yourself, or your time for them to suck you back in,
just so they can continue to psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, financially or physically break you down.
Where were they when you really needed them?
And if they did do something nice for you; just know that, the deed they done was likely a ‘contract of compliance’.
A contract that the narcissist had planned to use later in the relationship to get what they want from you.
And that’s why they often use everything against you, it is to make you feel guilty.
Everything the narcissist does has an agenda, and each deed is transactional.
And they may expect you to ‘pay up’ by returning to them.
Also do not give into their ‘woe is me’ games. They will use your sympathy against you so that you will feel guilty for leaving them in their so called ‘time of need’.
Once you see through their tactics, you will see that it is all just a game to the narcissist.
It was never love; they never wanted a healthy relationship.
The narcissist only wanted someone they could emotionally manipulate and play them like a puppet so they could exploit you for everything you have.
If you give in to the narcissist’s manipulation tactics, they will only abuse you more once you let them back in.
It always gets worse; it never gets better if you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
I used to fall for these tactics because I believed that most people were honest and I would give them the benefit of the doubt.
Trusting them once again and again, only to get myself hurt over and over.
Each time you go back into their clutches, they see it as an opportunity to punish you for leaving them so the abuse cycle will likely get worse.
And the trauma bond will connect stronger and stronger, thus making it more and more difficult to leave.
Narcissists will also use blackmail, threatening to expose your deepest secrets or mistakes to get what they want.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes, own your shame and it will minimize the emotional impact the narcissist’s threats will have on you.
What ever you do, please do not break the no contact rule and return into the narcissist’s cycle of abuse.
