Why no contact works
The narcissist wants supply from you whether it’s good or bad.
Once you make the decision to leave them, prepare for the final emotional and mental battle within yourself.
Focus on healing through meditation and keeping your mind still.
Their fear of abandonment mixed with their love of drama, loss of control and their enjoyment of watching others suffer makes for a toxic separation.
No contact works because they are not easily able to reach our thoughts and emotions.
Because this is how they manipulate us like pawns on a chess board.
It is also the best method that helps you keep your strength, peace and sanity whilst detoxing and detaching from the trauma bond they have created.
When we first separate from the narcissist our emotions will be all over the place.
Our mind, body and soul are going through the withdrawals from our addiction we had to the abuser.
This emotional state actually makes us more susceptible to manipulations.
Remember- they keep us in a state of confusion and anxiety during the relationship so we ARE easily manipulated.
The feelings we feel during a separation is similar which makes us vulnerable to the narcissist’s mind games, and that’s why no contact is a MUST.
If we decide to allow communication with the narcissist during separation, the narcissist has a very high chance of manipulating themselves back into our lives.
We cannot open the door to give them the chance to repeat the cycle of abuse.
This is why no contact works, and will always be the best method in dealing with any narcissistic relationships.
Refusing to go no contact will only enable the narcissist, thus making them feel more powerful to continue their poor behaviors.
They will see that they got away with their wicked ways once again, with no consequences.
With nothing to force them to self reflect leaves no reason for them to have to take accountability.
Be aware, that going no contact does not mean they will learn accountabilty.
They are already avoiding responsibility by blaming you and smearing your name, narcissists are likely to never change their ways.
It is time to rid of that toxicity in your life for good and go no contact.
Expect a smear campaign about you
Expect your name and good character to be dragged through the mud.
When you leave and go no contact, this act will cause massive damage to the narc’s ego because they’ve lost control to their source of supply.
In a desperate attempt to save face, and preserve their ego the narcissist will blame you for the break up.
And will smear your name to anyone who will listen.
Everything that they did in the relationship, they will tell everyone that you did those things to them.
This is because they want people to see them as the victim or the hero.
They never want to appear as the bad guy, even though that is the core of who they really are.
If they discard you first, playing the victim also works in their favor.
They can then say that they had to leave you, because you treated them so horrible.
Playing the victim also helps them to gather new supply by obtaining sympathy from others.
So when you discard them first, it throws a spanner in the narc’s agenda thus causing a narcissistic injury to their sensitive ego.
And they will feel the need to punish you.
They will share your deepest secrets and even create lies about you.
You cannot avoid a smear campaign, but there is no reason to stress about it.
Any sort of relationship with the narcissist will result in a smear campaign.
Whether it’s with a family member, work associate, acquaintance or lover.
People who want to judge you and believe the narcissist’s lies, do not deserve your respect anyway.
And their opinions about you should not matter.
Gossip happens everywhere, don’t sweat it.
Genuinely smart, strong and caring people do not involve themselves in gossip.
And those who truly know you, will support you and not listen to the smear campaigns.
Smear campaigns will actually separate your real friends from the fake ones.
I believe that God knowing the real truth is enough, and karma is real.
That belief got me through a lot of attacks thrown at me from many narcissists in life.
Ignore the lies, and don’t stand down from your truth; even if you have to do it alone.
