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The reverse hoover

Be aware of the narcissist’s reverse hoover tactic also.

After a break up or even mid relationship, they may disappear giving you the silent treatment leaving you with no closure.

This can leave you confused wanting to know where you stand or if they even cared at all

and you’re left wondering what they may be up to and you’re simply wanting answers.

The narcissist knows that this will bother you and tempt you to reach out to them.

They may also post things on social media purposely to upset you or make you angry,

in hopes that you will contact them in regards to their posts.

It doesn’t matter if you reach out to them with love or anger, any emotions you give the narcissist becomes supply to them.

Image by mikoto.raw Photographer

Nearly two years after I left my most toxic relationship,

because I had blocked him from all platforms I could think of,

one of his last reverse hoover attempts was to use my email address as his contact for a sign writing business.

I had designed his logo, business cards, and signs, and created his roofing business for him,

so he thought it would bother me if I knew he was getting signs made for it.

But instead of contacting him, I simply contacted the company asking them not use my email address.

I simply don’t care if he is doing well or not with all the efforts and hours I put into creating his business for free.

I believe that karma will catch up to him.


We tend to give into the narcissist’s hoovering because we shared real emotions in the relationship.

As empaths, we always try and see the best in others and assume other people also have good intentions.

But remember that the narcissist was able to easily hurt us repeatedly,

because they never shared real emotions with us.

It was the bad times that were real, and the good times were fake and only manipulation.

There were always more bad times than good times.

They hoover not because they miss you, but simply because they miss the attention,

the control, all the supply that you used to give them.

Image by Timur Weber

They miss having an emotional punching bag,

because they always need someone to project their behaviors onto to avoid facing their own demons,

which are all the things that cause them to feel guilt and shame.

And always remember, you will likely not be the only one they are hoovering for supply.

Always have boundaries

They may try and remain friendly with you after the disconnection,

simply to keep that door constantly open to hoover you when they need something from you.

Creating boundaries is very important, use the grey rock method if you cannot avoid the narcissist.

Or having no contact is the best way to heal and take back your power and your life.

Image by Liza Summer

Please share this post if you believe this content can benefit others.

One shared bit of knowledge could save another person’s life.

May God bless and protect you on your journey of self-discovery. 🙏🏼

Please, also do your own research on this topic.

Anything I share with you on this site is purely my opinions, not instructions, based from my own observations and experiences.

Also having relating it to my own research done on the topics.

There are many great certified psychologists, qualified teachers and even non qualified individuals with life experience to learn from.

Whom they share their experiences and knowledge through written articles, books or YouTube channels.

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Awareness is power.